We now have an LLC, a federal tax ID number, and we’ve applied for a business license! I’ve set up an account with Ingram, a wholesale distributor, although I’m not sure yet when we’re going to start selling. I set the business license up to start with online sales, so we can get our feet wet with buying and selling and dealing a little with inventory. By no means do I think that will really be what it’s like, but this seems like a safe way to get ourselves familiar with the process before we actually have a real-live-in-person store. Once the business license is issued, we’ll apply for a reseller’s permit and submit the permit to the wholesaler. We also plan to take a booksellers online course in the next month or so.

I’ve thought about by starting with used books – listing what we already own to sell, but I’m afraid I might like my own books too much to sell them. We’ll see.

The hardest part of all of this is that we really are both pretty busy with our day jobs. We know the whole purpose of this is to transition from where we are to where we want to be, but we don’t want to lose focus of the fact that we do like what we’re doing right now, and we do have to pay attention to it. We can’t drop the balls we already have in the air – and there are quite a few up there juggling around right now. So, this is slow going for the moment but we’re closer than we were when it was just a pipedream. Some days it does still feel like just a pipedream, but now it’s a pipedream with a tax ID number.

So, I think we’re really going to do this. No, we don’t have a location yet. No, we haven’t quit our jobs yet. But, we are writing a business plan, creating an LLC, and getting down to the nuts and bolts of it all.

About a year and a half ago, I bought the book, “Owning a Bookstore” by Paz & Associates. We joined American Booksellers Association. We’ve started putting it out into the universe what we want to do.

I think that’s the hardest part, sharing our idea with others. Of course, we can dream all we want in our own house, in our hot tub with a bottle of wine, but it feels a little more real when we start telling the universe.

We’ve visited other bookstores, outside of Tri-Cities, and know what we want. We know how big the building needs to be. We know what we’re going to need to carry as far as inventory goes. We have a good idea of the financial challenges we’ll face, and how much money we’re going to need to spend to get this going. We know how hard it will be to keep up with the yard work, and we know how sad our dog will be if we’re gone all the time. All of these things are being considered, and we think we can address all of them.

We also know we’re going to have to either go small and keep our jobs, or go big and go all in – we are pretty sure the only way to do this is to go as big as we can and quit our jobs. But, we’re working on that. Right now, I can’t quit my job because I have way too much going on to just walk away. However, I’m going to have to do it to make this work.

So, we have a two-year plan. I wish it was a two-week plan, but we have things to do to make this all make sense. And it’s going to. We’re going to have the best bookstore-coffee shop-wine bar we can imagine. And we hope it’s all the things you can imagine also. Please tell us everything you want it to be, so we can make it all of those things.

Every night I dream about work. I dream about being in the middle of whatever major crisis I’m actually in the middle of in my waking hours, but it’s weirder. I find myself in a situation ten times worse than it actually is (or maybe it is really that bad but I’m in denial), and then I wake up stressed. It doesn’t matter if it’s the work week or the weekend, it’s all the same. I can’t escape my job. It doesn’t get easier over time, either. I used to have these same dreams when I was an administrative assistant; I had then when I was project support. Now I have them as the project lead. It’s all the same.

I work for a company that pays very well and expects absolute dedication from its employees. It’s not a bad company; in fact it’s a very good company. The benefits are good, the retirement is good, the reputation is good. There are fairly clear processes for getting the work done. I’ve been here for over twelve years.

When I started this job, I wasn’t sure it was what I was supposed to do with my life. It was a steady income after I had started my own business which failed. I needed stability and a chance to decide how to get from where I was to where I wanted to be.

Where did I want to be? I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to own a book store. I wanted health insurance for my kids and myself and I wanted to be able to pay my mortgage and afford a car that didn’t break down every day.

Over time, I obtained a degree – in journalism and in communications (a double major). I eventually got on track with making my house payments. I had health care, and that was good because my kids made sure we used every ounce available of it.

My kids grew up. I got married. I bought a better house and a nicer car. I never used my education, in the sense that I never became a journalist or a communicator. I was promoted several times, and I got to a point where I brought work home every night and weekend, and thought about it while sleeping.

This is not my beautiful life. My life is beautiful, but I’m not enjoying it. I have high blood pressure and can’t turn off work. It’s not what I’m supposed to do with my professional life and I worry that all of the savings, the 401K, the retirement, is going to go to my husband and kids living comfortable after I die young – or at least before I retire. I can’t deal with it.

I’m an artist, and a musician. I care about the world around me, and the people I come in contact with. I also like to have a good time, and to stay up late talking about politics and religion.

Before I’m 50, which is just around the corner, I’d like to be in control of my destiny. I’m not right now.